Frequently Asked Questions

Choosing to begin a course of counselling is always a hard decision. We hope to answer many of the questions you may have on this page.

Q) How do I know if Relate counselling is right for me?

A) Relate are concerned with all aspects of relationship counselling. If you have a problem which is directly connected to your current relationship, a past relationship or to forming new relationships then Relate can help you to work through the issues surrounding it. Q) In what ways can Relate counselling help me? A) Relate can help in a number of ways. It can help to restore the communication between you and your partner, to address issues from previous relationships which are affecting your current situation and develop increased confidence to deal with future problems as they arise.

 Q) Who can apply for Relate counselling?

A) We work with all people, regardless of their marital status, sexual orientation or ethnic origin. The minimum age to apply for Relate counselling is 16 but there is no upper age-limit.

Q) How do I make an appointment?

To make an appointment with Relate call your nearest centre, either Reigate on 01737 245212 or Epsom on 01372 722976. We also offer appointments in Leatherhead which may be booked through our Epsom centre. Our receptionists are friendly, helpful and will always treat your call in the strictest confidence.

Q) What will happen when I call for an appointment?

A) Firstly, we will explain our procedures and ask you for some details. We will ask your name, your partner's name, your address and whatever contact numbers you can give us. The more numbers you can provide, the easier it will be to contact you when an appointment comes up that would suit you. We will also ask your availability for your initial appointment. Sometimes there will already be an appointment available to offer you. If not, we will add you to the waiting list and you will usually be seen within one to two weeks. The more flexible your availability is, the quicker we can find you an appointment. 

Q) How much will it cost?

A) Each session is subsidised but as we receive no statutory funding we do have to ask for a donation to help us provide our services. Please contact us for further details. We ask for your contribution to be paid at least 48 hours in advance to secure your session, otherwise the session will be passed to the next person on the waiting list. 

Q) I am a UK tax payer. How can I make a further contribution to Relate?

A) If you are a UK tax payer you can make a further contribution to Relate by filling in our simple Gift Aid declaration form. 

Q) What is Gift Aid?

A) The Gift Aid scheme is a very simple and effective way of giving to charity. For every £1 contribution you make to Relate we can claim back an additional 25p from the Inland Revenue at no additional cost to you. For more information on how to contribute to Relate through Gift Aid please read our Gift Aid information page.  

Q) What happens at my first session? A) Your counsellor will listen to the issues and concerns that you and your partner are facing in your relationship. He or she will help you to consider whether ongoing counselling is right for you. Your counsellor will be impartial and will help you consider the best way forward.

Q) What happens next?

A) If you decide to attend ongoing counselling, fill in and return the availability form that your counsellor will give you at your initial appointment. When we have a list of the days and times that best suit you we will add you to our ongoing waiting list and offer you the first slot that becomes available at a time and day that suits you. You will then attend counselling at the same time, on the same day and with the same counsellor each week, so please make sure when you accept a slot that you will be able to commit to it for as long as necessary. You will not necessarily see the same counsellor for ongoing counselling that you saw for your initial appointment. 

Q) How long will ongoing counselling last?

A) As each person's situation is vastly different from the next, we cannot give an average number of sessions. Your slot is yours for as long as you need it. Some people find that one or two sessions will help them work through their problems and help them to move forward, while others may find they need to attend for several months. We will never put a limit on the number of sessions you may attend so you can be assured you can attend Relate counselling for as long as you feel necessary.

Q) What happens if my relationship is generally good but there is a specific sexual problem?

Q) My child has been affected by the breakdown of my relationship. Is Young People's Counselling (YPC) suitable for him/her?

A) Our YPC counsellors have been trained specifically to help children affected by the breakdown of a relationship within the family. We offer a listening service to those between the ages of 10-25. YPC can help your child to understand the way he or she is feeling about their situation and to develop coping strategies, as well as build their self-confidence.

Q) Can I discuss my son/daughter's case with their YPC counsellor? A) YPC clients are treated with the same confidentiality as those attending couple counselling or sex therapy. While it may be possible for you to pass on information that you feel your son or daughter's counsellor will find helpful, their counsellor cannot discuss any aspect of their case with you. Breaking the confidentiality would break the bond of trust between client and counsellor.

Q) Is there a charge for the Young People's Counselling service? 

A) We ask for a contribution of £25 for every YPC session. However, if there are financial concerns then we may be able to help fund the sessions.

Q) Can Relate help if my problems are connected with other family members rather than just between my partner and myself? 

A) We now offer Family Counselling to assist family members who are experiencing some difficulties in their relationships with one another.

Q) How do I know if Family Counselling is right for me? 

A) We use a carefully planned assessment to identify whether Relate is the most appropriate agency to provide this help for you or whether another source of help would be more appropriate.

Q) Who could be involved in Family Counselling? 

A) Family Counselling is open to couples and other family members seeking help with their family difficulties. 'Family member' could be parents, children, siblings and extended family members, including those from different generations and blended families.

Q) What can we expect to gain from a course of Family Counselling? 

A) You may gain an increased understanding to make choices about how you manage your relationships within the family setting, develop more effective ways of managing areas of difficulty within the family and develop better communication both within a couple relationship and across generations. We can also offer information on other courses of help which may further improve your situation.

Q) I have a question that's not been answered here. How can I find an answer? 

A) You can ask us anything else you would like to know by Emailing us or calling us on 01737 245212 (Reigate) or 01372 722976 (Epsom). We will be glad to help you in any way we can.